The Walking for Health and Fitness Podcast episode 12 celebrates my mother and the 10 Life Lessons I learned from her.
Rockefeller Center: Christmas 2015
In this heartfelt video and podcast, I reflect upon the invaluable life lessons my mom instilled in me. Join me as I delve into the essence of "Mom's Unforgettable Wisdom: 10 Life Lessons That Shaped Me." From imparting essential values to offering guidance during difficult times, my incredible mom has been my greatest teacher. Through touching anecdotes and treasured memories, I share these 10 profound lessons that have positively influenced my life.
This is an exceptional Walking for Health and Fitness Podcast. In past episodes, I've touched on fitness, specifically walking, and mindset considerations such as accountability, habits, and goal setting.
Read on in celebrating the irreplaceable bond between a son and his mom, as we honor these 10 life lessons that continue to shape my perspective and positively impact my journey.
Thank you for joining me in cherishing "Mom's Unforgettable Wisdom: 10 Life Lessons That Shaped Me." Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe to my channel for more inspiring content!
The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering. -Bruce Lee
Today's episode celebrates my mother and the 10 Life Lessons I learned from her.
Have you ever been to a funeral and heard a eulogy that resonated with you? Then, the details were lost to you a day or two later. Then, you might have remembered one thing from the eulogy.
Or sometimes, there is no eulogy at all. A person lives their whole life, and in the end, their family and friends pay their respects by visiting the funeral home, and that's it. There may be some pictures around during the wake; if you were close to the person, you might be in a few.
I didn't want that to happen to my mother. I wanted her to be remembered as the special person she was. But I didn't want to recap her life. The people at her funeral knew her.
I wanted them to know the woman that raised me and my siblings and how she lived her life by a set of unwritten principles or what I called her life lessons.
I didn't realize how these unwritten lessons played out in my life until it was time to put her eulogy together. She never said the lesson out loud; they just were how she lived her life, but when it came time to sum up her life, they were ringing in my ear during the two sleepless nights it took me to organize my thoughts and write them out for her eulogy at the funeral mass.
At the repass, I was comforted as many people told me stories about their best memories of Mom and how one or more lessons played out in their relationship. Each person had a different relationship with her; another lesson played out in their and Mom's friendship.
My mom fought a courageous battle with the insidious disease of pancreatic cancer. This type of cancer is usually not detected until it's generally too late to treat, let alone cure.
After her diagnosis, she did survive for three years:
Year one was spent in treatment, including Chemotherapy, a major 9-hour operation called a Whipple procedure, then more chemo and radiation treatments.
Year two - plus a few months - was relatively healthy. I thought she looked better than she ever had. Her weight was noticeably down due to the cancer, but she seemed to have a glow around her.
The last eight months were tough. Mom began losing weight as the cancer reappeared. I'll never forget the phone to tell me that the cancer returned and that she would not undergo treatments again. She was going to let it play out and deal with it. Thankfully she was not in any pain. I know this is not the case with many people with pancreatic cancer.
The Greatest Gift
Before her death, my mom gave me the greatest gift. She pulled me aside at a gathering at her house, and we had a wonderful conversation. She told me how much she loved me and what I had meant to her. I told her the same.
Of course, I knew my mother loved me, and she knew I loved her. But because of this conversation, I've never had the "I wish I would have said this when she was alive regret. That conversation was a gift I am forever grateful for.
My mom passed away on August 26, 2016.
As the anniversary of her death is coming up, I thought sharing her 10 Life Lessons was appropriate and helped me keep her memory alive.
In keeping with my goal to have her remembered, I post these ten lessons twice a year on my social media accounts; On her birthday, January 16, and on the anniversary of her passing, August 26.
I'm now 60 years old, and these life lessons mean more and more to me with each passing year.
Mom 10 Life Lessons have played an enormous role in my life; I hope you can take something positive from them and the stories around them.
10 Life Lessons That Shaped Me
On August 26, 2016, my mom, Anne Ring, lost her battle with pancreatic cancer.
Mom had a series of "life lessons" that I put together for her eulogy.
While she never wrote these down formally, these are what stuck with me as I reflected on how she lived her life and what she left behind for my dad, sisters, brother, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and me.
As I progress with my teaching career, online business, and life in general, I keep her lessons at the forefront of my thoughts daily.
I've found excellent guidance in her lessons, and I hope you get a sense of peace and calm as you listen and apply them in your life.
Mom's Unforgettable Wisdom: 10 Life Lessons That Shaped Me get straight to what was important to her.
I have a gift for you; it's a .pdf of the life lessons for you to download. This file includes printable image quotes from each lesson. Please post the appropriate lesson somewhere you can read it daily.
Also, I'd like it if you'd comment on the lesson that resonates most with you in the comment section below.
Here are the lessons as a countdown from 10 to number one. While each one is important, this order made sense as I thought about Mom's life and each lesson.
Lesson 10: Live with passion:
If you'd ever seen her cook (she loved to feed her family), gambling in Atlantic City, or in any other place she could gamble, you saw this lesson in full. On trips to AC, whenever the city's skyline came into view, she'd get so excited that she'd rub her hands together like a kid looking at all their Christmas presents under the tree.
She has an undeniable passion for life, her family, and her friendships.
Lesson 9: Be positive:
This is how she first beat colon cancer years ago.
In 1998 Mom survived colon cancer. And in my opinion, that changed her. After surviving this cancer, she seemed to appreciate life more – which seems only natural. She didn't let little things upset her. If I ranted and raved to her about a work situation, she'd calmly tell me to let it go and that things will work out. Before her cancer, she was the one ranting about work and other things.
After her pancreatic cancer diagnosis, whenever you asked her how she was doing, it was always the same two answers; I feel good –which meant she felt good. Or she'd say, I'm OK, which meant she wasn't feeling too good, but she would never say those words.
A funny story: Mom's health began declining at the beginning of her last year. She lost 5 lbs each month in October, November, and December 2015. It was a very scary time as her doctors didn't know what was happening to her.
After her January doctor's visit, I asked how did it go? She said, "I'm getting better…I only lost 2 pounds this month!" That was her positive nature coming through.
Lesson 8: Love or at least like your job:
She loved what she did at the tax office. She was reluctant to retire but had to take care of her health.
Mom loved the interactions with her colleagues and the townspeople. I work in the same town, and over the years, I've run into so many people who knew her and had good memories of her.
Mom loved the sense of purpose the job gave her.
We spend so much time at work; find a job that fulfills you. I've taken this lesson to heart in my teaching career and Walking for Health and Fitness business.
Lesson 7: Look for the good in people.
She always found something, even something small, that was good. She never spoke badly about anyone.
Lesson 6: Never complain;
Who the hell wants to hear it?
Lesson 5: Give more than you receive, but don't be a martyr.
You must allow others to give to you so that they can feel good. Then, you'll be fulfilled and can give more.
In my last podcast, number 11: Self Care, Walking, and Your Wellbeing, I talked a great deal about you taking care of yourself. Self-care is not selfish. Take care of your needs first so that you can give more to others.
In giving, we get rewards, but you can't always give; you must allow others to give to you so they can feel good. It's a win-win situation.
Lesson 4: Be right with your friends:
Be loving, caring, but never BS them. Be honest and open, and tell them the truth, even if they don't want to hear it.
Lesson 3: Be right with your family:
Raise your children well, and have loving relationships with your spouse, siblings, and extended family members. Put petty squabbles aside. Let go of your ego.
A great acronym for EGO stands is Edging God Out.
Lesson 2: Be right with yourself:
Mom always knew exactly who she was and never tried to be anything other than the person she was. Many at her funeral said she was so authentic; yes, she was.
Lesson 1: Be right with God and take care of your spiritual needs.
Mom had tremendous faith. She knew that God would take care of her. Her faith gave her the strength to carry on in such a positive way each day during her 3-year cancer battle came from.
Mom’s Last Days
She spent her last few weeks alive in a nursing home. On my last visit with her, my dad and aunts, Mom, and I sat outside on a beautiful summer evening. She seemed weaker than usual and lost in her thoughts.
Dad and my aunts went inside for a few minutes, and Mom and I were outside alone. She looked at me and said, "I'm ready to go home now." As I pushed her wheelchair inside, I said, we're in the nursing home, and she said, "No, I'm ready to go home." At that moment, I knew exactly what she meant.
The nurses helped get her into her bed. We all kissed her goodnight and said we'd be back tomorrow.
She slipped into a coma overnight and passed away a few days later. She knew she was ready for what was next for her.
Again, these "lessons" summarized how she lived her life. I hope one or more connects with you.
I miss her every day, but these life lessons keep me connected to her.
As Bruce Lee quote says, The key to immortality is first living a life worth remembering. And she sure did.
Walk on,
Frank S. Ring
Author: Walking for Health and Fitness, Fitness Walking and Bodyweight Exercises, Walking Inspiration, and Walking Logbook Journal.
